


The Wrong Scum Villain and The Under-Qualified System

by Sakhyu



Category: The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System (人渣反派自救系统), 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngshiù
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Gen, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-06-13
Packaged: 2019-10-26 15:13:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17748275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sakhyu/pseuds/Sakhyu
Summary: Hi there, I'm your average girl, a closet fujoshi, and I......transmigrated into a boys love fanfiction?? Moreover, I'm the main character, the poor chump who gets pushed down by the main lead?! Nooooooo! Even feasting my eyes on countless bishounen guys won't be worth this!!Also, why do I have this sadistic System who keeps dangling the word 'punishment' over my head?! I'm not a masochist, go find someone else to bother! Hello, heLLO, CUSTOMER SERVICE LET ME RETURN THIS PRODUCT PLS?!Featuring the adventures of a girl (who should have been a shoujo manga heroine) struggling in a boys love fanfic.





	1. Surprise, You're a Protagonist Now!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me at my translation site [Sakhyulations](https://www.sakhyulations.com/) or my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/sakhyuu)!

<<Proud Immortal Demon Way>> was a YY stallion novel. An extremely ( _extremely_ ) long, Chinese novel that took the world by storm. With more fans than there were clouds under the sky (and an equal amount of anti-fans, for that matter), it was no doubt the most popular and controversial book of the year.

And like every good fandom, <<Proud Immortal Demon Way>> had a lot of fan art and fanfiction. In just under a year, the amount of fanfiction one could find for this novel could compete against the digital fanfiction libraries of Naruto and Harry Potter. Out of all of them, however, one really stood out.

<<The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System>> was a boys love fanfiction written by Mò Xiāng Tóng Xiu. Unlike the original book written by Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky, which had followed the tragic Male Protagonist™ as he blackened into an anti-hero with a truly astonishing harem, <<The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System>> followed, you guessed it, an antagonist. This BL fanfiction told the tale of a poor guy from the modern times waking up in the body of the Male Protagonist’s......scummy teacher. Who later ended up falling in love with the male protagonist.

Yup! With a frustrating but hilarious System that governed his actions, it was an epic and popular read that the publishers of the original novel had actually bought! From what I had last heard, they were planning on making the fanfiction an official spinoff......

Anyway, as a wuxia lover, naturally I followed both the fanfiction and the original novel. Unfortunately, because I was quite fickle and fell in love with translating Chinese novels myself, I set aside the actual novel and decided to finish the fanfiction first since it was shorter. But I didn’t even get halfway through before...... before......

...... _that_ happened.

And by ‘that’, I mean, I pricked myself while sewing and promptly lost consciousness.

!!??

Which, _what_. Dear plot device, I'm sorry to break it to you but you’re in the wrong story! This wasn’t Sleeping Beauty, okay?!

* * *

【Activation Code：「adshjeiren—】

【ERROR! 】

【ERROR! 】

【ERROR! 】

* * *

“...... _Shidi_ ? _Shidi_ , can you hear me speaking?”

The first thing I noticed as I slowly regained consciousness was the soft and worried voice that was filling the air. It was a smooth man’s voice, one that sounded like the voice actors of those ‘gentle’ prince types from those otome games I used to play. Ahh......with a voice like that I bet he looked super hot......a pity I couldn’t see him.

The second thing I noticed was—wait. What the heck. Why was there an unknown man beside me?!

Forcing my eyes to open, I violently blinked away what seemed to be a pixellated screen before my vision finally became clear. I was lying on a huge canopy bed and beside me was......

Oh, yeah, my conjecture from before was correct. The guy was super, _super_ hot.

Dressed in beautifully embroidered black robes, the handsome young man looked ten times more beautiful than any of those ‘Immortals’ from the Chinese historical dramas I had seen before. Like, seriously, wow was he pretty. What kind of heavenly genes did his parents give him?

This young man immediately perked up at the sight of my baffled gaze. For some reason, however, he seemed a bit nervous. “ _Shidi_ is finally awake! How......how do you feel, Qingqiu- _shidi_?”

“......”

Wait. Waaaaaait. _Shidi_? Didn't  _shidi_ mean......junior-apprentice brother or something in those Chinese cultivation novels? In addition, I was wearing white robes too.

If anyone was wondering, as a normal, _modern_ person of society, I normally didn’t wear white robes to sleep. Also, the meat buns on my chest had mysteriously vanished, and just by shifting a bit I could feel something in between my thighs.

................  


FUDGE. I’VE READ MY SHARE OF TRANSMIGRATION NOVELS, SO THIS KIND OF SETTING WAS REALLY FAMILIAR. DID… DID I TRANSMIGRATE??

BUT I DIDN’T DIE THOUGH??? I ONLY LIGHTLY STABBED MY HAND ON MY SEWING NEEDLE??? DID TRANSMIGRATION STANDARDS BECOME SO LOW THAT JUST STABBING MY THUMB WAS ENOUGH TO MAKE ME TRANSMIGRATE?

ALSO, WHY WAS I A _GUYYYYYYYYYYY_?

Oh yes, my good ol’ friend Mister Mental Breakdown was already welcoming me over with open arms. Unfortunately, before I could embrace him and burst into hysterical tears, something started ringing in my head.

【Ding ding ding! Welcome dear host, I am your System, the Shoujo Heroine Happy Ending System #521! I’m here to provide you with the best experience in—】

The System thing went suspiciously silent.

【......Oh. Oh no. Oops. 】

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all, some of you miiiight have read this before in an obscure forum once upon a time haha. This is a super self-indulgent self-insert fic I wrote when I just started reading Scum Villain a couple of years ago. I found it again in my google drive the other day and figured that since I already wrote like 15k words, I might as well fix it up and post it for archiving purposes. Whether it'll be continued or not would depend on the reception here, I guess haha. 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading everyone! ;w;
> 
>  **Footnote:** 521 is slang in Chinese for 'I love you' because it sounds slightly similar. 521 is pronounced as 'wu er yi' while 'I love you' is pronounced 'wo ai ni'.


	2. When You’re Doing Some Soul-Searching, Don’t Take The Wrong Soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me at my translation site [Sakhyulations](https://www.sakhyulations.com/) or my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/sakhyuu)!

......Oops? OOPS?!

【Hello, I am the System that will be monitoring you. Please calm down and let me explain. Unfortunately, we seemed to have made a mix-up with souls, and you landed into a hardcore shounen world instead of a shoujo one. 】

WHAT?! AKJDAKDSJAKDJAKDJAKDJAKDJA—

......Hey hey heyyyyy, can you really have a mix-up of _souls_? Where’s customer service? I didn’t buy this product!

【Nonetheless, the story must go on! Don’t worry, I took a course in shounen worlds so I am sure I will be able to properly guide you to the end! And if you properly complete the requirements of your role, you may even be able to go back to your own world!】

 _This_ , this...... _Oh my god._ I had already transmigrated. Even if I complained, I am already a guy......did I even have a choice?!

【When does a True Protagonist ever have a choice when they’re faced with the plot?】

......Point. Though I still want to file a bad review.

【Haha, don’t joke around!】The voice went on with what seemed to be false cheer. 【Just pretend this is a little detour before we dump you into a shoujo world! If anything, hardcore shounen is much harder than shoujo so you’ll get through your actual shoujo challenge like it's a breeze in the park!! Isn’t that awesome? It’s like getting a free mock trial! You had to buy mock tests for university, but here’s one free of charge!】

There wasn’t a use for a mock test when you get the test for the wrong subject!!

【Don’t worry so much about the semantics! Anyway, system activation was successful! Binding your role: Luo Binghe’s master, Cang Qiong Mountain sect, Qing Jing Peak, Peak Lord ‘Shen Qingqiu.’ Weapon: Xiu Ya Sword. Starting B Points: 100 】

_What._

Wait, hold up. I was. What.

Did I fall into that fanfiction?! Why was I the scummy teacher now?! For one, I’m a girl!

“ _Shidi_?”

......

Oh right, I wasn’t even a girl anymore! Thanks for that, dear System of mine!!

【......Sorry. Anyway, you probably already guessed it, but that’s your _shixiong_ , Yue Qingyuan. Be careful, he’s your childhood friend and your part-time nanny. You must not say anything OOC or else B Points will be deducted.】

...................................What happens if B Points are deducted?

【Normally, you’ll be sent back to your old body or to a Punishment Game. However, since the problem is we can’t send you back just yet, you’ll be sent directly to a Punishment Game when your B Points become zero.】

......System, you just said I was his childhood friend. I didn’t even read half of the novel and the fanfiction, and the first details Luo Binghe’s life, not his shifu’s! Are you setting me up to fail?!

【╮(╯∀╰)╭ Good luck!】

Crying just a little bit inside, I turned my head to face Yue Qingyuan again. Thankfully, I was rather good at acting, so I assumed my face looked pretty expressionless even though I was mentally screaming up a storm.

From what I remembered from the spoilers I read about the fanfiction, a punishment game meant I would be dropped into the canon protagonist’s lap! And that was definitely a no-go, I didn’t want to be tortured by the cruel protagonist just yet!!

Hey, don’t look at me like that. I swear I wasn’t a M!!

But first things first, how to escape punishment, how to escape punishment......? How to make it normal that I would be different from his friend......wait.

Giving the man a rather puzzled look, I cocked my head to the side. “I......W-Who are you? Where is this place?”

Ha! Take that, System! It won’t be OOC if I’m OOC when I have amnesia!

【......】

Yue Qingyuan looked shocked before incredibly sad. I ignored the small pang of guilt in my heart when I saw his lost-puppy dog expression. Ugh, stupid pretty boys.

“I was hoping it wouldn’t be like that......” The man sighed softly, his limpid eyes overflowing with grief.

......Wait, what?

Upon seeing my confusion, the man reached forward with a mirror. I was interested in seeing how I looked, considering I was a cultivator now and all cultivators were rather pretty, so I immediately turned to face it......

@#$@!

Shen Qingqiu was described to be a young man! So, why could I only see a girly-looking teenage boy staring back at me?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for everyone who commented last chapter <3 Here's chapter 2!


	3. The Clothing Challenge and The Date With the Ground

Let it be known that the tailors of the Cang Qiong Mountain Sect apparently worked at the speed of light. I had just barely convinced Yue Qingyuan that I was completely healthy (apparently I had a fever before?) when a young boy politely knocked on the door and gave the man a set of pale, green and white robes that were already my size.

Seriously, these clothes looked like they would fit me perfectly, but Yue Qingyuan had just assigned the disciple to bring me some clothes like, an hour ago. They didn’t even look like the clothes the disciples were wearing either (so they couldn’t be a premade hand-me-down), but more......celestial? Or badass?

......Maybe the tailors on this Cang Qiong Mountain were all undercover fairy godmothers?

Wait, that actually made some sense considering I transmigrated here because I kept poking myself with my sewing needle......

【 _Cough_ , your sewing had nothing to do with your transmigration. Please be assured, you would have transmigrated at that moment even if you were flushing a toilet!】

......Good to know. Well, at least my transmigration trigger wasn’t _that_ pathetic.

Anyway, after giving the clothes a quick inspection, my _shixiong_ nodded in satisfaction before he handed them over to me. Then, without prompting, he left the room so I could change by myself.

Mm, the privacy was all fine and dandy and I seriously appreciated not having to change in front of a bishie. However, the real problem here was......

How the heck do you put these clothes on?!

With so many layers and ribbons, it was more complicated than my prom dress, _waaaaah_. And this outfit didn’t even have any zippers!

......Could anyone give me a hands-on crash course in Ancient Chinese clothing? Seeking help,  pretty urgent!!

AKA, Yue Qingyuan!!! Get back here!!!!!

After staring forlornly at the door my _shixiong_ walked out of, I gave the clothes a miserable look, complete with teary eyes.

System......

【......Even if I wanted to, I don’t have a physical body. In addition, I didn’t download the tutorials for Ancient Chinese culture since I thought we were gonna end up in a magical victorian world instead. Sorry, dear host, but you’re on your own for now. ((o(;△;)o))】

 _Argh_.

Bemoaning the fact that I couldn’t just wear the simple robes the young boy from before (a disciple?) wore, I pulled up my sleeves and began valiantly trying to BS my way out of this.

Okay, so, there was an inner layer of the inner robe, can’t let that be smushed to the side. The inner robe had a few more layers, so you had to make sure they were all evenly spaced. And then there was the outer robe......

After who knew how long later, I finally gave _myself_ a miserable look. Ugh! That was the best I could do! In any case, I made Yue Qingyuan wait long enough.

“ _Shidi_?”

And apparently my _shixiong_ agreed with me. “Come in!”

I frantically tried adjusting my sloppily tied ribbon-belt thing as the door opened. Yue Qingyuan walked in with a soft smile......before he stopped in his tracks and just stared.

【......I was going to take B points off for OOC, but you really tried your best.】

......Thanks, System, for your mercy.

“Ah......” the man recovered from his shock and chuckled softly before he walked over. With gentle hands, Yue Qingyuan took over my job as he hummed, tone tinged with amusement.

“I guess it was presumptuous of me to assume you knew how to put these on. I’m sorry for leaving you alone, _shidi_ , you’ve worked hard.”

Uwahhh, I could just feel the tips of my ears burning.

But......I couldn’t see any contempt in the other man’s eyes, and his nimble fingers felt so gentle......

 _Huhhh..._...I could definitely get used to having an older brother like him. After all, I was an only child and I’ve always wanted an elder brother.

However, when my _shixiong_ was finally done with fixing up the mess (AKA, me), I realized yet another problem.

With a dozen layers of sleeves and the lower robe part practically dragging on the ground, how the heck was I supposed to not trip?!

 _“Gah_!!!” Oops, jinx'd myself.

“ _Shidi_?!”

Aaaand there I went. Yup, I had quite an intimate meeting with the dear ol’ ground......

“ _Shidi_ , are you alright?!”

My cheeks felt like they were burning. Yes ground, it was nice to meet you too, but could you do me a favour right now?

Please, open up and swallow me! Save me from my embarrassment!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wasn't sure if I wanted to continue with this but then there seems to be more people reading it than I thought? Anyway, here's the third chapter, please enjoy!


	4. Becoming a Wanna-be King Arthur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me at my translation site [Sakhyulations](https://www.sakhyulations.com/) or my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/sakhyuu)!

As I carefully ( _carefully_! No more tripping, no sirree!) followed Yue Qingyuan to wherever the Peak Lord meeting thing was taking place, countless people wearing the same clothes as the boy from before had stopped and stared at me.

It was awkward. Very awkward. I was almost concerned about the upcoming traffic; both of us left so many frozen statues behind us.

After what felt like an eternity, Yue Qingyuan finally led us to a room. I......okay, don’t ask me how we got there, because I definitely wouldn’t be able to tell you.

After all, I had been way too busy staring at the xianxia-like scenery, ‘cause _wow_. I felt like I was surrounded by a 3D green screen! Exotic greenery surrounded us, and everyone I saw wore dressed in ancient Chinese robes. I seriously felt like I was walking through a movie scene.

When Yue Qingyuan opened the door, I discreetly peeked inside before stepping forward. Ten imposing and otherworldly _beautiful_ people stood in clumps as they talked to each other softly. However, the moment I entered with Yue Qingyuan, all of their eyes became pinned on me instead.

......Uhuhuhu......not going to lie, getting stared down like this by bishies was really kind of scary......

“...... _That’s_ Shen Qingqiu?” A handsome man with delicate and —dare I say, _pretty—_ features broke the silence as he asked in disbelief.

“Yes, that’s your Qingqiu- _shixiong_ ,” Yue Qingyuan corrected in a faintly warning tone. The pretty man who had just spoken up didn’t even seem offended, he just continued staring at me with wide eyes.

Wahhh, despite being extremely hot, this guy also looked a bit scary. In fact, it seemed as if he was trying to decide whether or not he should cut me down right now......I subtly moved closer to Yue Qingyuan.

“......He doesn’t remember anything, so I believe his appearance also regressed with his mental state when he experienced his Qi deviation,” Yue Qingyuan continued to explain.

Oh! I was struck with sudden understanding.

Of course my deaging could be explained with Qi deviation, AKA, the solution to all plot holes!

No wonder nobody was dragging me off to be interrogated or something! Even Yue Qingyuan didn’t question me that much when I first woke up!

Seriously, whoever came up with Qi deviations should get an award. What a handy trope......

“I see,” another man dressed in gentle browns started slowly. “He seems relatively well and much better than he had looked before. But......how old is he right now?”

Upon hearing that question, Yue _-shixiong_ paused before he turned to stare at me intently. I resisted the urge to slowly back away. “He looks younger than when I—I mean, when he first arrived at the sect......so perhaps, around thirteen?”

_What_.

No wonder I was at least a head and a half shorter than Yue Qingyuan and everyone else in the room! But......but......in my own world, I was already eighteen! Sure, some people called me baby-faced and childish, but was my mentality really that of a thirteen-year-old teen’s?

(༎ຶ⌑༎ຶ)

I mentally cried strips of flat-noodle tears.

“Hmph,” the pretty man my _shixiong_ had criticized before spoke up again. “None of that matters except for _that_ , right?”

“......Yes,” Yue Qingyuan agreed, tone still light despite the almost unperceivable furrow in his brows. Suddenly, it felt as if the air in the room became heavier.

I discreetly gulped. Was it just me, or did suspenseful background music start playing?

Holding my breath, I watched Yue Qingyuan turn back to me before he lifted his hand to point at the......

I did a double-take.

Wait, hold it. Why was there a sword stuck in that boulder??? How did I miss _that_ when I first walked into the room? The sword was even glowing because of a stray of sunlight that scattered across it, but there weren’t even windows in this room!

“Qingqiu- _shidi_ , can you pull out that sword for me?” Yue Qingyuan asked, snapping me out of my snarky thoughts.

However, his words only made me want another time-out! What was this, King Arthur?? This was blatant copyright! Copyright, I tell you!

......More importantly, I wasn’t going to be dumped with some random title if I did pull that sword out, right?

“ _Shidi_?”

“Of course, _shixiong._ ” Despite my many misgivings, I gave Yue Qingyuan a small smile and a nod before I walked over to the sword. Reaching out, I grabbed the hilt of the sword before I—

—pulled!

And pulled!

......And pulled......

Uh, nothing was happening. Wasn’t something supposed to happen? Frowning slightly, I shifted my grip and took a step back to have a more stable stance—

“Eeep!”

—and instead stepped onto the hem of my stupidly long robe, _again_.

Yes, you heard me right. I tripped, in front of _everyone_ , before ending up as a tangled heap of limbs and silk on the ground.

System: 【......】

The people in the room: “......”

Me: “......”

【......Violation: OOC. -10 Points. Points remaining after deduction: 90 Points. Sorry host, but I can't _not_ deduct points from you after seeing that...... (๑ʘ∆ʘ๑)】

......No worries. And dear ground, it’s very nice to see you again so soon. But I’m begging you here, please swallow me and save me from this embarrassment!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm super glad some of you liked this, hope you like this chapter too! I find it easier to update this since the bulk of it is written already and only needs some major editing lol.
> 
> Also, in case it wasn't too clear, it's a good thing our main chara didn't pull out the sword, because only possessed people could lol. Not that she knows that, but her inability to pull it out ended up saving her hide ahahah.
> 
> Thanks for reading everyone!!


	5. It's Time For A Pop Quiz!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Come find me at my translation site [Sakhyulations](https://www.sakhyulations.com/) or my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/sakhyuu)!

First, I didn’t manage to pull out the sword. Second, I made a fool out of myself in front of eleven, impressive peak lords. So, I wasn’t really surprised when one of the peak lords hesitantly brought up the next topic:

“If he’s missing his memory, should he still keep his position?”

!!!

Good man, good man! Please take away my troublesome title! If I wasn’t a peak lord, then I wouldn’t be able to accept disciples!

Which was perfect, because I didn’t want to be Luo Binghe’s scummy Master!

【(　〇□〇）Urgent Warning: If you do not stay as a peak lord, your B points will be deducted by 5000! Host, quickly prove yourself to them!】

“......” Unfortunately, I didn’t even get the time to rejoice over my good fortune before my dreams were completely shattered.

“That is......” Yue Qingyuan hesitated a bit before he gazed at me searchingly. “ _Shidi_ ’s cultivation level hasn’t dropped......”

Yeah! Yeah, so please don’t drop me into a punishment game! Upon seeing my wide (and slightly panicked) eyes, the kind man seemed to have made up his mind. “Let’s check it out, then.”

......?? What? Check what out?

Despite System’s prior claims that nobody save Yue Qingyuan had liked me, no one protested his decision either.

Even the pretty guy who had called me ‘Shen Qingqiu’ didn’t speak up against Yue Qingyuan. I thought he would have for sure, considering how he always had a permanent scowl on his face whenever he looked my way.

That scowl was very dark and very scary. When I first noticed it, I barely curbed my urge to hide behind Yue Qingyuan.

【Oh, host, I know who this is! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ That’s Liu Qingge, your _shidi_ and someone who hates you. The feeling had been mutual.】

System ‘helpfully’ pointed out as I almost choked on my own saliva.

What?

 _That_ was Liu Qingge?

Were you serious?!

In the novel, he was supposed to be the Bai Zhan Peak’s Peak Lord, and our Sect’s strongest fighter save the Sect Master Yue Qingyuan.

The Scum Villain fanfiction had described him to be the pretty prince type, but I didn’t think he would actually look _this_ pretty! Would anyone actually believe he was our War God?

“Come here, _shidi_ ,” Yue Qingyuan snapped me out of my daze with his gentle voice as everyone began making their way to......a circle on the ground? Ooooo, was this some kind of a fancy teleportation seal?

Obediently, I followed him over. As I was the last person who wasn’t standing on the seal, the fancy carvings on the ground immediately flashed white when I stepped onto it.

A split second later, I was opening my eyes to......a forest? Wow! Transportation here was really convenient, so why was the novel described as a ‘low-magic’ cultivation novel......?

“This is your Qing Jing Peak’s forest,” my senior brother, bless his soul, explained helpfully as I spaced out once more. “Now, do you still remember how to insert your spiritual aura into your sword?”

“......”

AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

SYSTEM, HELP. I’ve never touched a sword in my entire life! How the hell was I supposed to work a magical one now, and in front of eleven masters to boot?!

And what spiritual aura?! How the heck do you insert _aura_ into an object?!

【Don’t worry, host! (￣▽￣)ノ】 System didn’t seem to share any of my worries. 【Try unsheathing your sword first!】

......Right. Okay, okay, I should calm down. The fanfiction even said that it was quite easy......

Trying my best to tone down my nervousness, I gripped the hilt of Shen Qingqiu’s......my sword, before drawing it slowly.

And wow. If I _had_ to get saddled with a weapon, at least the one I got was rather pretty.

According to the book and the fanfiction, Shen Qingqiu’s Xiu Ya sword was pretty famous. It even _looked_ famous. The hilt and scabbard both appeared to have been made out of a material similar to white gold, and even the flash of the sword light was snow-white.

Despite being a weapon, my Xiu Ya sword looked like the very image of purity.

Which......begged the question: why the heck was the scummy villain of the story the owner of this sword? One would have thought it would belong to the female lead in the novel, the one who was said to be the most beautiful. Liu Qingge’s younger sister, I think?

Anyway, I nervously frowned down at the weapon. No matter how beautiful it was, it didn’t matter if I couldn’t use it. Right now, I needed to figure out how to light it up with my spiritual aura—

_Shing!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next part! Finals are starting soon for me, so please pray for my grades rip.


End file.
